Masculine or Feminine?

Published on May 22, 2004 By greywar In Humor

Jointly written with Pseudosoldier.

Would you classify the following drinks as masculine, feminine, both or neither:

Beer (Be it MGD, Killian's, Shiner Bock, or what have you.... = obviously masculine
Black Russian = Masculine but academic
Cape Cod = Feminine all the way yet tasty!
Screwdriver = Feminine!
Vodka, straight = Masculine, must be drunk while singing the old soviet national anthem (the new Russian one has no panache)
White Russian = Very feminine
Wine = Neither but definately effete or academic

The questions were posed by Pseudosoldier and answered by me so all blame is mine and all credit is his.

Comments (Page 3)

dharmagrl

on May 24, 2004

Oatmeal Cookie? Are you fucking kidding me? Who would even order that? That must have been in a gay bar.

Coffee on the monitor again. Thanks, Greywar.....that's the first good belly laugh I've had all weekend.

pseudosoldier

on May 24, 2004

Blame Monobrow. And apparently it's mostly straight on Thursdays.

dharmagrl

on May 24, 2004

Another belly laugh....

I can't remember the name of this shot, but you suck on a wedge of lemon after it and it tastes exactly like german chocolate cake......that's a girly drink if ever there was one.

What about a kamikaze? I'd say that was girly too....

pseudosoldier

on May 24, 2004

I've heard kamikazes named as a girly drink before. Oddly, it was Monobrow that was saying it.
There was that one time that my brothers, some friends and I ran the karaoke bar out of lime juice due to kamikazes...
But my oldest brother usually has used them to get unsuspecting girls drunk, so, there you go.
Maybe the ones that don't really taste at all like alcohol are automatically "feminine"/effeminate/girly?

dharmagrl

on May 24, 2004

Maybe the ones that don't really taste at all like alcohol are automatically "feminine"/effeminate/girly?

Yes, I think that might be the case. Some of those that taste/look girly are almost all alcohol though...like the cosmopolitan. Pretty pink/red color, dainty glass...but almost pure vodka. A couple of those will put you on your ass.

You ran the bar dry of lime juice? That tells me that either the bar sucked because it didn't have any reserve stock, or you all drank a lot....I think the latter to be the case!

kingbee

on May 24, 2004

Maybe the ones that don't really taste at all like alcohol are automatically "feminine"/effeminate/girly?

or aimed in that direction...which would explain injecting everclear (190 proof grain alcohol) into watermelons to enliven warm weather parties.

greywar

on May 24, 2004

which would explain injecting everclear (190 proof grain alcohol) into watermelons to enliven warm weather parties.

There is nothing quite like the exquisite agony that is an everclear hangover. When I was living in the barracks and short on cash I had taken to drinking everclear mixed in an empty milkjug with unsweetened kool-aid. The next day I kept looking around to find the camel that had snuck in my room, shit in my mouth, and kicked me derisively on the way out.

dharmagrl

on May 24, 2004

When I was living in the barracks and short on cash I had taken to drinking everclear mixed in an empty milkjug with unsweetened kool-aid.

That's ghetto-fabulous sounding....why unsweetened?

I have never had the everclear experience, myself. I don't think I want to have an everclear experience, either. I'm so much of a lightweight these days, I can't even manage a 6 pack alone. It's ridiculous.

greywar

on May 24, 2004

....why unsweetened?

No money for sugar.

pseudosoldier

on May 24, 2004

No money for sugar.

See, I would've thought it was because you were "sweet" enough, in the pants.
What else was that camel doing to you?

dharmagrl

on May 24, 2004

See, I would've thought it was because you were "sweet" enough, in the pants.
What else was that camel doing to you?

Man, there's no mercy with you guys, is there?!

pseudosoldier

on May 24, 2004

No, there's mercy. You just have to cry "Uncle." Or "Daddy." Whichever is more appropriate for the situation.

greywar

on May 24, 2004

I prefer "Ai, Papi!" or "hold him down First Sergeant!"

kingbee

on May 24, 2004

the exquisite agony that is an everclear hangover

nothing like forgetting what youre doing and opening your mouth to experience the 'burn' of nearly pure alcohol evaporating on your tongue.

unsweetened kool-aid

ah for the good ol dayz of 'silver satin' fortified wine mixed with uncut lemon or lime kool-aid.

The next day I kept looking around...

camel..steamroller..tsunami...that stuff really should be classified as a psychadelic
.

kingbee

on May 24, 2004

I have never had the everclear experience, myself

unless youre buying relatively expensive vodka that indicates it started out as something other than fermented grain, its likely to be the equivalent of everclear diluted by about 1/2 to 80 or 90 proof. still...straight everclear truly does seem to be more than the sum of its parts.

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