The NSA and poor security
Published on November 26, 2005 By greywar In Politics

Foreword : Look, sometimes it takes me a bit to write things up as I lack *any* sort of writer discipline. I think of 5 articles a day to write and write about one article every 5 days instead. Sorry. Lileks I ain’t. Oh and this one will ramble a bit more than the previous installment so bear with me.

 

Background (feel free to skip to the Meat) :

 

            Having completed my initial tour as an intercept operator I left Korea for Ft. Meade, MD home to the NSA. Now I was the envy of VOB (If I have broken out acronyms in previous articles I won’t do so again… you will simply have to look it up in the previously linked article yourselves… (look at you readers doing a little Intel analysis (DOCEX) right here and now! I’m so proud…)) because Ft. Meade was a rare assignment for Korean interceptors. Everyone wanted to know “Who did you blow?” to get the assignment.

            Truth of the matter was that I didn’t ask anybody for it. SSG Stoneroad had told me long ago that anyone who was not an NCO shouldn’t waste PERSCOM’s (Personnel Command (now HRC Human Resources Command… Sweet Hopping Christ the Army has gone pink!!!)) time with assignment requests since they wouldn’t be listened to in any case. I had actually been trying to stay in Korea and get a Command Sponsored position so that I could have my family there with me. Trouble was that at that time in the Army Command Sponsorships required a 2 year stay in Korea from the day they were approved so the command section would get a request for Command Sponsorship and drag it’s feet until the soldier who wanted it was almost ready to leave country and then they would approve it to try and get him to do a nearly 3 year tour.

            Sure enough, after 10 months of non-stop bitching about getting an answer on my Sponsorship they finally came back and said it was approved if I would stay another years. Thankfully I was able to give them a hearty “Fuck you!” since PERSCOM had told me via PERSGRAM the day before about my Meade assignment. The look on our LT’s face was priceless when I turned it down. That bitch thought she had me cold (I don’t like Officers BTW). 60 days later I followed Evil Pidge to Ft. Meade.

 

 

Meat of the storyline (Lazy readers should start here):

           

           

            It took a few weeks to get into the NSA itself since you have to pass a polygraph test besides all of the normal Army shit but once that was over I was allowed into the SIGINT Holy of Holies…

 

 

 

            I can’t tell you how surprised I was at the incredibly lax security in Agency itself. The very first day they have you watch a very cool film about all of the spies that have been caught while they were working at the Agency and it is shocking. Most of these traitorous fucks weren’t caught until their greed had simply gone beyond all reason and their successes had led them to believe that no breach of security would ever be detected by the morons who run the place. They didn’t catch one guy’s classified thefts until he started using a fucking heavy lift cart to steal documents wholesale (yes, he got away with several loads first)!

            The front door was guarded by one civilian chumpstain who “watched” a row of subway turnstiles with a badge slot in them. The badge itself was a joke since it had a tiny picture on it of the badge holder which no one could see unless you walked up to someone and grabbed the badge, no PIN number, and no requirement to be checked by a human! We were even supposed to take this to our home with us! Any jackass could have stolen a badge and gotten into the building without raising an eyebrow.

            Once inside the Agency made espionage even simpler by simply leaving 90% of the section doors unlocked. Hell I took to going on “office safari” through the vast cubicle farms when I got bored… I would just go to a random floor (or even better a random basement) and walk into offices asking what it was that they did there. Most folks were so pleased that anyone took an interest that they would give me a briefing on the spot without ever questioning my need to know or compartment access (need to know is one of the Big 3 for Security along with Clearance level and access… you are supposed to have all 3 before information is released to you) (I learned a LOT this way)). Frankly I was and am surprised that more info wasn’t stolen. Of course the most sensitive areas were restricted by more layers of security but they constitute a very tiny part of the NSA machine.

      The sad thing was that worse was yet to come!

 

(Continued in Part 3)

 

 

 

 

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Comments (Page 1)
2 Pages1 2 
on Nov 26, 2005
Those sure are pretty buildings.

You can see my office window in that first picture, of the two shiny new buildings. I'm in the building on the left. That's me waving.

Amazing that I am the first (of many, I assume) to post comments on this very popular thread.

Oh, that's right, opinions of the National Stuttering Agency ("So where do you work?" "Uhhh... ummm, well, I ..."):
1) There is about as much work getting done as your average government agency.
2) It would take only the semi-craftiest of people (is semi-craftiest a word?) to get inside the building, but you'd have to know what you were doing beforehand.
3) The work ethic is abysmal (see comment #1).

The line is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG at the Starbucks in the cafeteria.
on Nov 26, 2005

But yes, I do feel as though the mother ship has called me home.
I am very happy here.
on Nov 26, 2005

Amazing that I am the first (of many, I assume) to post comments on this very popular thread.

 

This one simply wasn't as well written as the first...

on Nov 26, 2005
The article was written well enough that I survived, and am looking forward to installment 3. Just wish I'd had the opportunity to go there myself. Potato Chip was NO help.
on Nov 27, 2005
It took a few weeks to get into the NSA itself since you have to pass a polygraph test


Admit it. It was the sex with dead animals question that flunked ya. Don't you just hate the lifestyle questions?
on Nov 27, 2005
It was the sex with dead animals question that flunked ya.


By the end I was admitting to having sex with dead animals, I'll admit. They broke me.

That line of questioning was unusual, to say the least...
on Nov 27, 2005
That line of questioning was unusual, to say the least...


The less said the better, then.

At the least, I found this article about the NSA an easier read than Puzzle Palace ever was.
on Nov 27, 2005
that 3rd photo looks a lot like a korean subway. i must admit i have jumped a gate or two in a hurry. there is no security to stop you.

is nsa really that bad?
on Nov 27, 2005

is nsa really that bad?

It was at that time.. they have tightened up a bit and the post itself is no long open (my god we were so naive pre-9-11.)

on Nov 28, 2005
Um, pardon me for asking, but aren't you offering a bit TMI here? My father-in-law made me delete a couple of my own posts for that very reason.

Whenever my friends or family would ask me what goes on in the intel world, my response would be, "If I tell you, I'd have to kill you...but you'd probably die of boredom first anyway."
on Nov 28, 2005

Um, pardon me for asking, but aren't you offering a bit TMI here? My father-in-law made me delete a couple of my own posts for that very reason.

 

Just visit Globalsecurity.org and do a bit of browsing... you will never see OPSEC in quite the same light ever again. Trust me... anyone with eyeballs and two functioning synapses could get more good intel about the NSA sitting in their car with a pair of binoculars from the highway outside of the place...

on Nov 29, 2005
Just visit Globalsecurity.org and do a bit of browsing


AngelaMarie, you would be surprised and shocked to see what actually is unclassified and available for the public. As would your father-in-law, apparently.
on Nov 29, 2005
The sad thing was that worse was yet to come!


your talking about me arent you?
on Nov 29, 2005
The sad thing was that worse was yet to come!your talking about me arent you?


Either that, or he's talking about a further down the line installment and he brings me into the picture.
on Nov 29, 2005
Those photos recalled some nice memories of my trip with you through those buildings on a day it was open to the public. I remember you were so excited about showing me through everything, much of which I didn't understand, of course. I have forgotten just what warnings you gave me about my need to be discreet about what I was witnessing but I think it incuded threats of death if I were ever to disclose any secrets. Fat chance of that when I had very little idea of what I was seeing. Nice blog...You really kept a lot of these details from me. Now, I am ready for more. Keep it coming.
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