First off thanks to everyone who showed up at the Company to see me off. I didn't expect it and it meant a lot. Also let me thank everyone here at JU here for their kind words of support and Chiprj for his recent article.
Well as the subtitle so subtly implies I am not yet in Iraq. Timeline? Ok lets...
Yesterday
1100 : Since roll call for the flight was not until 1330 I decided to take a shower over at the gym where the ratio of air to airborne fecal particles is significantly higher than it is at the shower trailers. After returning from this lovely lukewarm experience I see a small gathering of soldiers and contractors outside the Space A terminal where they do rollcall. My battle buddy informs me that they had a "pop-up" flight and that inthe 20 minutes I was gone to shower I missed roll call. Shit.
1330 : Roll call for the second flight proceeds apace and by now I am an old hand at this so it takes very little of my time or attention to be up and running. Another trip through paralell dimensions where time runs a little differently so it takes 2.5 hours to get to the airfield which is 30 mins away.
1600 : Arrive at the airfield. Commandeer 5 soldiers (who have also already been through this) to palletize the bags and politely tell the rest of them to get the fuck out of the way as they are just slowing us down.
1700 : Supposed to be our gate time. Nothing happening though. Naturally the *fine* folks running the PAX terminal have no info as to why not.
1800 : Out of nowhere we are loaded into the second passenger lounge to wait some more.
1830 : Board the C-130 and get strapped. Check with crew chief to make sure we are going to the right fucking place this time? Check.
1900 : All run-ups complete and we taxi out onto the runway. I am familiar with take off procedures from my time in ARL and I am a bit puzzled by the sounds I am hearing. Seems liek the pilots are shutting down some engines and running them back up repeatedly even though we have left the apron... Hmmm...
1910 : Engine number 3 has a problem. Fuck!
1930 : Unload and trek back to the PAX terminal. Are told that the part needed to fix Engine 3 is 3 hours away at least. We wait it out.
2245 : True to their word Enigine 3 is fixed! Yay!
2300 : Back to lounge number 2 for preboarding. Not 3 minutes after this our chalk commander (a Command Sergeant Major this time around) comes in and tells us that we have been bumped off the flight by a HMMWV.
2400 : Finally get the bus and bags squared away again and are ready to head back to CP Gypsy. Once again I am the "shooter"
0200 : Back at Space A. Chow hall just closed. I have 30 rounds and am eyeing the crowd (well actually just the idiots who run the Space A terminal) but decide to let them all live for one more day.
0500 : No flights to my city yet. I start to speak in tongues at the guy behind the desk. I don't think this gained me any ground.
0900 (now) : At the PX area at the cybe cafe drinking a Starbucks coffee. Thats right Starbucks. It makes me laugh everytime I go anywhere here because no matter how rough hewn the base is they always have something totally urbane and incongruous like a Subway shop, Pizza Hut, Dunkin Donuts, or a Starbucks. Hell they might just as well sell sponsorships like the Olympics!
"Today on Sports Center we bring you live coverage of Operation Iraqi Freedom! Brought to by Pepsi the official drink of the 82nd Airborne 'The choice of the Jumpin' Junkies!' and by Camelbak 'because the Army is too stupid to come up with good gear on it's own!' and by your local Ford dealer 'Selling you overpriced vehicles at an interest rate tantamount to usury because we know you have shitty credit!' "
Not that I mind actually. "You smell that? That nutty, beany, ground up smell? I love the smell of expensive Kona raost in the morning! Smells like... Victory!" (apologies to Stanley Kubrick and Robert Duvall) *edit thanks to Wanderer... I just associate that movie so strongly with R. Lee Ermey that my mind likes to think he played all the roles!
*Edit again! Ok, So I don't know shit about movies:) Thanks much to Wanderer and E. Music for pointing that out!
