Been a while since I actually put much effort into writing anything serious but the yen hit me again this evening. I warn you once again gentle reader that this series is not really intended to be humorous or even interesting. Furthermore my Old Core has been screaming louder than usual from the bottom of the Pit where he lives so I have decided to allow him some co- authorship of this one. Maybe it will keep him from actually surfacing again anytime soon.

         (Right and maybe it will give me a grip on a few more of your synapses you mewling puke -OC)

         Right, I can tell this will be an exercise in futility already but my word has been given. In any case the reason that my history of dating lesbians has floated to the fore once again is that there have been many discussions amongst my fellow soldiers recently regarding some appearances of impropriety between a senior NCO and a junior enlisted soldier and also about some actual impropriety between an NCO and a junior enlisted that has already yielded tangible consequences.

         (Impropriety? Tangible fucking consequences? What the fuck? You think you’re Ted Koppel or something? Just say what you mean buttnugget! It looks like one NCO is fucking his secretary and the other one is a slut who managed to get knocked up by one of her own soldiers! Appearance of impropriety my left nut– OC)

         Fine OC, call it what you like but it is not quite as cut and dried as all of that. This sort of thing happens all the time in the Army and you know it! Hell the incredible disparity in the male/female ratio practically guarantees it!. Remember Brandy? (You think I excused that either? I was just along for the ride goat-boy… At least I don’t make excuses -OC) Ahem… my apologies to the two people who have had enough patience to get this far. My point is that like any good NCO when my soldiers asked my about these incidents I had a story to relate. Here goes : (About god-damn time! Jesus you love to hear yourself fucking ramble– OC)

         Somewhere between Brandy and Courtney, possibly after Pom, (I don’t remember either, I was on fire at the time remember? – OC) I had a very improper and destructive relationship with another lesbian (bi-actually) named Rhiannon. She was 22, tall, blonde with short hair and a brilliant smile. She came to Alpha Company 3^rd MI where I was working as a flight instructor. This girl hit the unit like a hammer. She exuded energy and knew exactly what NCO’s wanted to hear her say. She even had “Army” tattooed in a tribal band around one arm! This instantly tagged her as a “fast- tracker”. Now at the time I was pretty heavily involved in drinking myself to death and really didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to her initially as she seemed to have taken up with another NCO in the unit who could always be seen driving her places and talking to her. They were inseparable. I found this slightly odd as he was not exactly known for his lady-killer looks or for his sparkling personality. In fact everyone kind of thought he was a creepy, ugly, geek (coming from disgusting pogues like you and Hanja that’s pretty fucking damning– OC).

         After a week or two I had occasion to work a ground mission with her as one of my helpers, (not really sure what the helper was for since they could have replaced Doghouse in its entirety with a big green light and a beeper at the BOC). Since there was nothing to do after I showed her how everything worked (took about 5 minutes) we basically just did what every ground crew did on mission, sat and talked. During this chat she told me that she really wanted to find someplace to hang out after work since SGT Creepy just would not leave her alone. She said it was like having a stalker. I was pretty surprised and told her that most folks thought they were dating. I will never quite forget the expression of horror and disgust on her face when she heard that. (Yeah I think that was when you start plotting how to get into her flight suit right? You sly old lecherous assbiscuit -OC) If you must know I was more concerned for SGT Creepy at this point because SSG Maldo was already making noise about busting his ass for sleeping with her. Additionally I knew that SPC Burri?was totally taken with her and was contemplating killing SGT Creepy.

         It just so happened that there was going to be a pig party at Companions in the next few days. (Since he cant tell a story worth a shit let me fill you people in : A pig party was where that malicious-enabling-cocksmoker Different Hanja would crack open the red plastic piggy bank that all the tips went into and used the cash to buy drinks for all the “regulars” until the money ran out. I remember this well because Grey here used these as special opportunities to drown my Pit in even more copious amounts of liquor than usual. Fuck you Hanja. -OC) Uhhh thanks I guess… moving along… Since I was a regular I knew I could get away with inviting her down without Hanja getting too annoyed about it. She accepted right away.

         Some background here (for Christ sakes! Can’t you just get on with it? -OC) At the time that all this was happening I was swinging a fairly large amount of power around for a lowly SGT. I had been in the unit for 2.5 years or so and was pretty good at my job. Most of the folks in the unit had been trained by the combo of me, Chiprj, and Different Hanja and for the most part they regarded all of us as Elder Gods of ARL. (Fueled by the fact that most of the SSG’s in the unit were no-talent assclowns – OC)

         The night of the pig party arrived and I was down there early getting riotously drunk off Hanja’s trademark Thunderfuck’s. At some point I do remember Rhiannon coming it with SGT Creepy in tow. She was dressed to kill in a white midriff shirt and some sort of flattering cargo pants. Since she was still with SGT Creepy I sort of figured that they must have come to some sort of further understanding and that her denial was some sort of front. Whatever. I went back to the Thunderfucks. The evening progressed and at some point she and Creepy had a stairwell discussion that made him leave in a huff. It was not until SPC Chiropractor pointed out to me that she had been aggressively hitting on me all night that the lightbulb finally flickered on inside my alcohol soaked head. But it was too late, OC already had started his move.

         (I knew way ahead of him proving that even while drowning in a sea of burning 151 I am smarter than he is. Why don’t I just take over from here asshat? Wasting no time I grabbed his brain with both hands and dunked him into my Pit for a while. (see how you like it fucker!) Moving fast I took her by the hand and told her she was coming home with me (because she was too drunk to make it all the way back to the barracks I told her) since she was pretty hammered too she brought this line of ridiculous shit and home we went. Now Grey here had done such a fabulous job of fucking himself up that the same alcohol level that made it possible for me to take over had also given him a terminal case of whiskey-dick. Not that she didn’t try mind you but nothing doing. I could already see that this bitch was totally fucked-in-the -head-psycho though and I didn’t want to miss out on watch Grey piss away some of the life he had stolen from me so I said all the rights things and made sure that she wouldn’t just bail in the morning. It worked and boy were the next few months a laugh-in for me. Damn I love this we should reminisce more often Grey. -OC)

         Enough of this. He is getting out of hand again. Time to break it off for the night. More another time perhaps.