Bush/Kerry, Punditry of the Left/Right, and Clown Phallus

One man's witty banter is another man's Jackassery.

Published on August 12, 2004 By greywar In Politics

I don’t know if you realize this yet but this is not winning either side any new voters

For those of you out there debating the John Kerry/Swifty-Bush/AWOL “issues” let me give you a hint : stop.

I don’t know if you realize this yet but this is not winning either side any new voters. That’s right not a one. Both sides have gotten so far into their own demagoguery that they don’t even realize that this is a side show attraction and not an election issue.

Pundits on both the left and the right have become caricatures of themselves much like Lil Jon. Two guys at the circus wearing a donkey and elephant costume taking turns slapping each other across the face with a slightly different versions of a brightly colored, floppy rubber, clown cock. Each of them simultaneously believing that the small crowd of people watching them are there because they too love clown cocks. In reality these idiots are not int the center ring of the circus but are actually in the sideshow next to the geek that bites the heads off of live sheep.

How about this, talk about some issues. Find something that the undecided voter gives a shit about and discuss it. Lets start with abortion, gay marriage rights, the federal budget, health care, or even school vouchers. No matter where the pundits stand on these issues it would be a step up from a clown cock deathmatch over things that two people might have done 30 fucking years ago! Hey baby boomers, get over it. Deal with your inadequacy issues from the Vietnam era like everyone else of your generation did, namely hiring hookers who will call them “daddy” in bed. I assure you that after a few years of diligent application this therapy will make you feel like your dick is longer than the that pathetic little meat puppet really is. Maybe then you can rejoin the rest of society in this thing we like to call the Now.

Either find a real topic to talk about or u\you will find yourself like two (partisan) cats fighting over a toy while the third cat (the undecided voter) has already given up to go lick it own rectum and beg for some Pounce treats.

P.S. This was my 100^th article BTW. From other bloggers you could have expected something special and thought provoking… From me you get clown cocks and cat rectum.

Comments (Page 2)

SanguS

on Aug 12, 2004

(I even heard the *THWAP* sound of the clown cock impacting jowl)

Thats not really that suprising considering how familiar that sound must be to you with how often you must have heard it reverberating through your skull during my repeated manhandlings of you.

greywar

on Aug 12, 2004

manhandlings

You were the one getting his head smacked into the tarmack as I recall.

Gideon MacLeish

on Aug 12, 2004

Back to the topic at hand...I am seriously thinking this MAY be "the year of the independent". I see no independent with any chance of gaining even a plurality, but I think that voters are disgruntled enough that there will be surprisingly strong numbers of independent votes in certain areas (Nader in Cali, east coast, Badnarik (LP candidate) in Nevada, Montana, Buchanan [if he's even running] in bible belt states).

Spc Nobody Special

on Aug 12, 2004

Allright, time for a match in the circle of death. Clown cock battle to the finish!

pseudosoldier

on Aug 12, 2004

Another attempt to re-rail this (unless Clown Cock Fights were what grey intended, and then this is woefully Off Topic):

I find myself tilting towards what some would call a "throw-away" vote for an Independent. I'm not fond of the two major parties right now, and I'd like to help an Independent party earn the campaign fund matching from the federal government. (From what I understand, they have to obtain a certain amount of the voters in order to qualify.) I think that Independent parties right now are serving the purpose that Gideon attributes them.

greywar

on Aug 12, 2004

I find myself tilting towards what some would call a "throw-away" vote for an Independent.

I too am fighting with this urge.

chiprj

on Aug 12, 2004

This conjured forth an image of Hannity and Colmes on the field of battle dramatically slapping each other across the face with the clown cocks... it was so vivid (I even heard the *THWAP* sound of the clown cock impacting jowl) that I nearly swerved off the road laughing.... Perhaps the mental imagery is not as funny to you but I thought it bore writing.

No, no, I got the mental imagery on this one and it's hilarious!!! Good thing I never read anything on your blog with a drink in hand!

kingbee

on Aug 12, 2004

shouldnt the combatants first engage in a more fundamental battle to determine control of the singular clown cock to which the title alludes?

xtine

on Aug 13, 2004

I find myself tilting towards what some would call a "throw-away" vote for an Independent

I hate hate hate the idea of this....

It sucks, it really does. Because really, it seems like right now, any vote is a "throwaway"

SanguS

on Aug 13, 2004

In texas your throwaway vote will weigh much more than it would up here for example where a vote for someone like Kerry or Bush could have huge weight.

(i just mean that Texas is voting for Bush again so you guys can't do much but fluff his already perky nipples or throw=away to someone like Nader hehe)

Spc Nobody Special

on Aug 13, 2004

I'm thinking my throw away is going to be a write-in for John McCain, perky nipples or not.

pseudosoldier

on Aug 13, 2004

I'd vote for perky nipples if the opportunity presented itself...

Hworang

on Aug 13, 2004

another vote for perky nipples!

Gideon MacLeish

on Aug 13, 2004

I'm thinking my throw away is going to be a write-in for John McCain, perky nipples or not.

That was what bugged me about the 2000 election. McCain was one of the few major party candidates I could back. I didn't agree with every issue of his, but he seemed informed, intelligent, and most of all, to be one of the last bastions of "small government" Republicans (remember those?). Most libertarians defected from the Republican party when the party STOPPED being those things.

Spc Nobody Special

on Aug 14, 2004

Not only that he definately has a feel for the military, (Duh, have to respect his service in Nam, and his time as a POW) he doesn't wiggle on his stands, and has an extreme talent for cutting through bullshit and pork barrel. I don't always agree with him, but I respect him.....
Oh yeah, and I liked his self-satirical appearances on those Comedy Central comercials too. He's far from perfect, but at least with him there's a nice blend of charisma, and integrity. Each one of the "real" candidates feel like they're missing one of these characteristics. I won't be drawn into shrill political argument by saying which one is missing which.

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