What is the military for? What does it mean to be a military family? These are questions which go largely unasked by some military families until the day that Mom or Dad gets deployment orders.
90% of military families confront these questions then and there, reaching the inevitable conclusion that Mom or Dad is a soldier and soldiers fight in wars. This means that separations from their families are not just to be tolerated but expected and planned for.
It is the remaining ~10% that cause most of the military’s familial issues. This 10% have spouses who somehow believe that the purpose of the military is to provide their family with a steady paycheck, free health care, post housing, cheap day care, job placement services, and a host of post services in exchange for Mom or Dad to stay stateside and out of the line of fire until retirement.
It is these “entitlement” spouses that anti-war groups seek out for protests and press pieces. These are the folks you will see going on and on about their spouse’s deployment and how “unfair” it is to the family. The only thing that bitching about deployments does is cheapen and denigrate the support of those families who actually “get it”.
These are the spouses who waste hours and hours of 1SG (First Sergeant) and Commander time making useless phonecalls complaining about every single aspect of their spouses deployment. They are the ones who constantly ask "Isn't there a single soldier who can go instead?" and don't see the illogic of treating single soldiers like lesser soldiers.
When you marry into a military family or your current spouse decides to join what do you expect? Honestly, should the military simply be an upgraded form of welfare with no expectations of the beneficiary?
My wife is a Sergeant First Class on active duty. It is my expectation that she can/will/and should be available to deploy. I do not believe that he government “owes” her a job or my family her presence.
Would it suck for her to be deployed? Absolutely. Would it suck more if she was deployed 4 or more times in 5 years? Sho’nuff it would. Would it be unreasonable to expect this sort of deployment from a soldier? Not a bit.
They are Soldiers… not city employees. They fight Wars… not just stateside exercises. They Die… while those fortunate enough to live free under their protection sit at home in comfy chairs kvetching about the commissary lines.
If your Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or Marine is home right now, be thankful. Go to Vegas, take some time to cuddle and watch TV, or do whatever you like with them but do NOT act like you didn’t know they were in the military when their next set of orders comes in.
