A simple yet subtle demonstration of socio-economic forces :

     Let us begin at 0900 Fort Hood time with 4 Army Privates... Worthy, Walker, Fiffie, and Neddo. Split them into two teams of Worthy/Fiffie and Walker/Neddo and give each team the task of mowing 4 acres of grass with one push mower and one weed whacker to each team.

     Our NCOIC's for this detail give each team slightly different sets of instructions. 

     Team 1 (Worthy/Fiffie)

SGT Driscoll: "Ok, this grass needs to be mowed down to 1" evenly across the whole field for the CSM's Goat Fellatio Festival Saturday (tomorrow). I know you don't want to do it and I don't feel like doing it either but as soon as you are done with this lawn to the 1" standard I am gonna let you go home for the rest of the day."

Team 2 (Walker/Neddo)

SGT Keifer : "Ok the CSM wants this grass mowed for his Goat Fellatio Fest and you two didn't have anything scheduled today so this is your task. Mow the grass to 1" high and I will be back at 1600 to check it."

     Now Team 2 knows that no matter what they do they will be out in the sun until 1630 at the earliest and they also know that it takes a lot to make them stay any later than 1700 (Post Commander's Policy Letter you see). Their entire motivation is now focused on doing as little as possible with the grass until then. Heck they are even motivated to find some way of not mowing it at all since that would save them the trouble of mowing and it will also piss off the CSM (who they both know and loathe). By 1030 the lawn mower will have been broken through extremely rough use and the weed whacker will have mysteriously run out of string (necessitating a 4 hour delay while the Supply Room determines that it bought a weed whacker that only uses cord made from Plutonium Isotope Rope made by a now-bankrupt Canadian firm). 1600 rolls around and SGT Keifer gives this teams litany of woes to the company 1SG who will have to explain it to the CSM. SGT Keifer looks like a fucking retard and takes a sever ass chewing. 

End result? Grass not mowed, privates not tired, privates questioning why they joined up in the first place, SGT Keifer questioning why we ever stopped hitting our soldiers in the first place, and the CSM blowing goats in unkempt grass.

      Team 1 on the other hand used Fiffie to mow like a madman while Worthy went behind with the weed whacker hitting any recalcitrant blades of grass. 1130 their lawn mower broke too (these are some shitty howers after all) but they only had a bit left so they knock it out with the whacker. Worthy uses Fiffie's cell phone (Worthy has no money you see because he couldn't keep a dime in his pocket for 30 seconds) to call SGT Driscoll before lunch for an inspection of the work and they roll out of there by 1230 for an early start on the weekend.

End Result? Grass mowed, effort made, soldiers love SGT Driscoll for getting them out of there early and for actually showing a bit of sense, soldiers learn a valuable lesson as they drive by Walker and Neddo wasting time on their field, SGT Driscoll puts a tick under each of his soldiers "Work Ethic" column, and the CSM has a nicely manicured field in which to perform his unnatural acts.

     Additionally since we know SGT Driscoll to be a bright lad, he waits to tell the 1SG about Team 1's completion until 1600 so they she can't come up with some sort of retarded addendum to the detail. This allows him to retain credibility with his soldiers while disallowing any real criticism of his handling of the task at hand.

     Most people can see the implications and applications of this little scenario quite easily yet managers and leaders cock this up on a daily basis costing their company/outfit time, money, and good people (in the long run).

     Moral of the story? If your boss pleasures farm animals orally (and whose boss doesn't?), be a Driscoll and not a Keifer.

 

Site Meter "
Comments
on Sep 25, 2005
I'm attempting to model my NCOing on the premise of: WWgwD? I'm not always successful, but I'm doing my damnedest. (I'm putting it on my list of things to do better, too.)

(WgwWD, in most situations, is take care of his (and others') soldiers while still accomplishing the job (assuming the job was actually required to be done; otherwise, he'd argue fiercely against doing it until it was clear that it was going to be done regardless of how braindead the task was, and then he'd do what his "good" SGT above would do). He was not unlike an umbrella from the shit storm of crap details for the troops. Sure, the umbrella can't always deflect all of the feces, but it can keep most of it off.)
on Sep 25, 2005
By 1030 the lawn mower will have been broken through extremely rough use and the weed whacker will have mysteriously run out of string (necessitating a 4 hour delay while the Supply Room determines that it bought a weed whacker that only uses cord made from Plutonium Isotope Rope made by a now-bankrupt Canadian firm).


heh heh heh...........

"Ok, this grass needs to be mowed down to 1" evenly across the whole field for the CSM's Goat Fellatio Festival Saturday (tomorrow).


And now I know why they called it Battalion O day.
on Sep 26, 2005
I just love the "Goat Fellatio Festival" It kept me reading even though I new the outcome as soon as you listed the two separate instructions.

Thanks for the laugh and valid lesson in personnel management.
on Sep 26, 2005
I just love the "Goat Fellatio Festival"


Whereas I just love out of context quotes. I'll pass your ringing endorsement on to the new Command Sergeant Major.
on Sep 26, 2005
Whereas I just love out of context quotes. I'll pass your ringing endorsement on to the new Command Sergeant Major.


Doh!
on Sep 26, 2005
I always thought that SGT Driscoll was a sharp dude.

and it's true. With the right incentive, your soldiers will work like dogs for you, but with no incentive, or negative incentive, they will do the absolute bare minimum to finish a task, or at least to postpone or get out of a task.

And surprisingly, Greywar didn't stay in the army long enough to make CSM. I know he always wanted to blow goats, but I guess he just didn't have the right incentive to stick it out.
on Sep 27, 2005
No one wants to comment on Greywar blowing goats?
on Sep 27, 2005

No one wants to comment on Greywar blowing goats?

no one else thinks about it as intently as you....

on Sep 27, 2005
You know, sometimes I never thought much about that Driscoll guy.

I'm feeling better about him lately.

I released the soldiers I was in charge of yesterday when they were done. They were timid at first, as it wasn't 1700. I growled at them, and they finally started to vacate the back room. (Then I stuck around until 1700 so SSG Smiley could come back to pick up her personal bag. *shrug* You have to take care of the people one step above, too. Especially Smiley.)
on Sep 28, 2005
If I had more Driscolls and fewer asshole in leadership positions....I may have reconsidered staying Active duty. As it was, HW would come home and know that the stupid BS he did that day was unavoidable while I felt as though I was stuck in a game of "Who can assign the most brain-dead assinine instructions?" My entire chain of command never seemed to learn that lesson.

With the right incentive, your soldiers will work like dogs for you, but with no incentive, or negative incentive, they will do the absolute bare minimum

....and try to screw you over as often as possible.......
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